Some Days..

In my life, some days are harder than others. I think the same can be said for the majority of you.

Some days you might get glutened.

Some days you may be tired.

Some days you may be sore.

Some days, you may just feel like shutting out the world.

Some days, you might feel anxious.

Some days, you might feel overwhelmed.

And some days, you might feel so many things that you have no idea where to start or how to type.

Today, that last one is me. I’ve been starting multiple blog posts then stopping mid-sentence and hitting save, closing my computer, and taking a nap. You see, like many celiacs, I have other correlated issues. One of them is anxiety. And that means that sometimes, I need to take a step back from the outside world and go inside myself.

I’m doing a 30 day yoga challenge at Prana Yoga Studio. Every morning my alarm goes off at 5:36am (I don’t know why, but I hate setting my alarm on the 5 or 10.. it has to be something unique) and I get out of bed, get dressed in all my yoga attire, throw my hair in a ponytail, walk downstairs, pat the dog on the head, get in the car and drive. It takes me 10 minutes to get to the studio where I find out what studio I’m in that morning (there are 2). The first morning was fun; the second morning I was over it. But now, I have completed day 11 and I have yet to miss a day. Physically I’m feeling very strong (and I’m hoping to get some good shots of me in yoga poses outside when it stops being crabby out there) and mentally I find that yoga is forcing me to sllooooooowwww down. This whole slowing down thing is a foreign concept for me. I’m known to be a bit of an overachiever and take on WAY too much. I’m only now learning to say no (and really, I say that almost in jest as I have to really think hard before I say no). But it’s fabulous. I haven’t had a headache until today in 11 days (that’s a record for me). My tummy has hurt once in the last 11 days (I really need to give up dairy). And I feel like I can conquer the world.

Life is full of things to worry about. But yoga is helping me to not worry as much, or to try to think more rationally about each thing before I freak out (I’m not going to lie, my therapist is helping me with that thought process too 🙂 ).

My current freak out? Mr Man. I’ve already written about how Mr Man was diagnosed with celiac. Now I worry. I worry about how he’s going to fair in school. I worry about the impact that this will have on his friendships and his life. I already worried about all these things with Miss A, but never with Mr Man. For some reason, his being celiac has hit me harder than him being allergic to nuts. He’s having a tough time. He’s very clingy to me which can get draining, but all I do is hold him close. I don’t tell him it’s going to be okay, because it will only be okay when he decides that it is. I don’t tell him not to worry, because my son is extremely sensitive and needs to understand everything before he decides how to handle it. I don’t tell him that it’s not a big deal because let’s be honest, anyone who’s celiac KNOWS it’s a big deal.

Instead I tell him that I love him, that I will always be there to listen to him and so will his dad (and his sister – she’s been supporting him since he got diagnosed). I tell him that he will learn so much as a celiac and even though it sucks sometimes, he will feel so much better and will learn to listen to his body more.

And that’s my point. We all need to listen to our bodies more. I’ve enrolled both my kids in yoga. I feel that it will get them more in tune with their bodies and as celiacs, I feel that this will be important to them not only now, but down the road.

Some days.. some days you just need to take a leap of faith, know that not everything is always going to be perfect, and dive right in.

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