Why Can’t We be Friends?

“You’re being judgemental”

“Don’t judge me”

“There’s so much pressure”

And on and on and on.

What kind of world do we live in? These days, we live in a world where we’re never good enough; where no matter what we strive to become we’re always expected to want more, do more, be more. Can we ever get to a point where we’re okay with who we are? Should we get to that point?

We live in North America, where there is so much opportunity – so much ability to learn just by being alive. We don’t need to go to school to learn about life – we need to live. But we never give ourselves the time or the right to just be.

We’re killing ourselves.

In the last month we’ve had:
1 – Toronto Eaton Centre shooting.
2 – Edmonton G4S shooting where a man shot his coworkers. All but 1 died.
3 – Toronto again – block party shooting that left 2 dead.
4 – Aurora, Colorado shooting that left 12 dead and 58 injured.

In each of these tragedies, people were in a place where they felt safe. In the Edmonton shooting, all of the victims were armed. But who expects someone they trust to turn on them?

I could go on and on about gun control, and the need for stiffer sentences, but I’m going to be honest – despite my repulsion by weapons, I don’t think that a stiffer law would stop these occurrences. Ultimately, I think we need to look to the world as a whole to solve these problems. Because right now, the world is on edge. Does anyone else feel it? We’re all edgier than we’ve been in a long time. And yet instead of turning to the next person, asking how they are and giving them a much needed smile, we judge.

Judgement hurts. Judgement that is constantly felt leaves us feeling worthless or never good enough. Judgement causes depression, anxiety, and the need to run ourselves into the ground. Judgement doesn’t make us better people – it makes us want to be people we’re not.

I worry about the world. I worry that if we continue to put this pressure on ourselves that at some point, we’ll burst under that pressure. Look at all the press that motherhood has been getting over the last decade. Mothers are just one small section of the world and yet, if they keep getting this pressure and reach the boiling point, what does this tell the next generation that we raising?

Instead of judging, how about we try to just accept people for who they are. Accept that they are amazing inside and out and that if we support them, they will blossom more than if we push them to the brink. How about instead of slamming/flaming/attacking people on facebook/twitter/etc, we try to say things nicely. Remember the phrase “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” What are we teaching our children people? We teach them that bullying is not okay, and yet when you attack someone else’s opinion, aren’t you engaging in a form of bullying?



Then act. With love. And from a place of respect. You don’t need to agree, but that doesn’t give you the right to be disgrace another.

Smile at your neighbour. You never know what they might be going through.

We need to stop. We need to stop judging, we need to stop expecting.

We need to start being.

We can do this.


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