I’m Gonna Make It

Oh it’s been a rough week.

I’ve missed yoga. I’ve been sick. And I’ve been really overwhelmed and frustrated.

“In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity.” — Albert Einstein

Last yoga challenge I experienced some rough goings around week 2-3 and it appears I’m having the same-ish experience.

Today was day 17 so I’m not going to go through all of the different classes I took over the last week but I will say this:

Sometimes, you need to know when to let go.

Friday I stayed home. I got an extra hour of sleep after also having napped Thursday afternoon. Miss A and I hung around most of the day as she’s been having her own health issues and didn’t go to school. I went Saturday and Sunday but Monday I awoke feeling miserable. So I picked up and went off to yoga, but instead of participating I meditated. I found a lot of stillness that I desperately needed and it was well worth it to meditate.

Tuesday (yesterday) I again opted out. I couldn’t get back to sleep because of body pain so I laid awake until it was time to get up with the kids. I got Mr Man off to school and then felt awful. I wound up back in bed while Miss A played around me. I slept a total of about 4 hours during the day yesterday. Miss A missed school again – this time because of me – I literally could not take her. She was an angel and I was so appreciative.

We managed to go and get Mr Man after school and when we got home, down I flopped onto the couch again. Mr Man advised me to go to bed. I insisted I was okay on the couch and he deemed it okay, but also decided that he was going to be in charge so I didn’t have to be. I obliged and he did a great job abiding by the house rules. When having our bedtime snuggle he said to me “Okay mama. Until you’re all better, no sugar and lots of naps.” I said “Okay love” and he said “I’m not kidding mama. Those are the rules.”

While on the one had it saddens me that my 6 year old has way too deep an understanding of an occasionally unwell mother, it also elates me to know that at 6, he’s already kind, compassionate, and thoughtful. Migraines ravage my brain sometimes every month, sometimes every other, but migraines have been a part of our family’s existence for a long time. The kids know exactly what I mean when I say “Mama has one of her headaches” and they go into quiet play mode. Mr Man in the past has even made me tea (with supervision of course) and gotten me hot packs.

“Find the sweetness in your own heart, then you may find the sweetness in every heart.”~ Rumi

I don’t want my kids to have to “take care” of me, but at the same time, I appreciate what this is teaching them.

It really hasn’t been a good week for me, and yet through all of this I’ve found that in moments, I can still be grateful – grateful for my children, my husband, my opportunity to practice yoga within my own scope, and to learn how to treat my body with kindness.

As Heidy said in our class this morning – You don’t need site to have vision.



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